PSYCHOANALYTIC AND PSYCHIATRIC HUMOR


(Old Favorites)



Two psychoanalysts pass on the street. One says hello. The other thinks, “I wonder what he meant by that.”

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A man awakes in a state of anxiety and runs over to his early morning psychoanalytic session. He bursts into the office and says, “Doctor, I had this terrible dream! I saw my mother from the back and she turned around and had your face! I woke up in a fit of anxiety, grabbed a coke for breakfast and ran right over.” The analyst replies, “A coke! This you call a brekfest?”


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Two jokes told by Woody Allen in Annie Hall:

“My brother’s crazy! He thinks he’s a chicken - he’s constantly squawking and flapping his arms.”
“Why don’t you turn him in?”
“I can’t; I need the eggs!”

Two ladies are having lunch at a Catskills resort. The first says, “The food here is so bad.” And the second replies, “Yes, and the portions are so small.”


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How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but it has to really want to change.

 

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